I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
