Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
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