Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
