he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
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Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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