I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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