Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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