did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
