Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You are the jesus of drinking
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