Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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