whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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