I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
