If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
