you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
