I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize