Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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