I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize