Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
