she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
