ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Who died my cat blue again?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
