why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
