i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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