So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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