I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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