Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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