i permit you to call me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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