so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
