I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
