Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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