Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
