Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
