dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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