So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
