I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
