I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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