oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
