unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
