well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
