Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
