Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
