You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
