dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
