I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize