drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
