Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
