They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
do herpes really smell.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
