Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
