I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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