I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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