I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
