It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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