Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
