You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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