No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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