After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
