I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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