My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
