we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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