ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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