His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
