i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize