someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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