ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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