i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
