Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
