So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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