mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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